Sex and Beer

This post came from a recent conversation I had with an old and dear friend of mine who, after telling him I have:

A super fancy life filled with electricity, running water 24/7 (unless there’s a blackout or water shortage), AND I have a flush toilet, mini fridge, and gas camp stove. As well as house guests of horses, mice, geckos, ants, and cockroaches that plague my house.
He told me that “GECKOS ARE THE GREATEST THING EVER (aside from sex and beer of course).”
Then he asked me, “How much of those two are there? (Giving you the idea of how little I know about the Peace Corps)”
My response was this:
“Sex: I’m not getting any, and I’m pretty sure [most of the] other volunteers aren’t either. Relationships between men and women in Fiji are super weird (meaning friendships between the genders don’t really happen and if you want to date somebody be prepared for all of your neighbors to know and talk about it) and the men here are [generally] either super creepy or hella shy and awkward [towards women]. Out of the 10 guys in my group, 3 are married, some are gay, a few are in committed relationships, and the rest… sega ni noqu jamu (that’s not my jam).
Beer: it’s mostly in the cities/towns, and since I’m in the interior I mostly drink kava with my neighbors and other teachers. There’s two choices of mediocre pilsners, gold and bitter. There’s also technically vonu, but that’s tourist shit that tastes like the other two and usually costs $2 more. Sometimes I buy beer in Sigatoka town where I do my shopping or at one of the small shops at my government station, but there’s not a lot of social drinking of alcohol.
Also the geckos are awesome because they eat bugs and make silly chirping sounds.”